Sunday, March 27, 2005

Moving on is a simple thing...It's what you leave behind that's hard

Remember that feeling we all get when we depart company from someone we love so much? You are aware for many days in advance that this day is coming, but there is nothing you can do to make it easier.
When my daughter comes to visit me, I know she will return to her home in a day or two. I do not even think of that while she is here, but when she leaves I must watch until she is out of sight, and dry my wet eyes. She is pursuing her life, and she has left the nest. I know she will always love me, and never forget me, but it is still sad for me to see her go.
When Manna and I had to return Ho Ming back to his grandparents, we met the Grandfather in the MTR station. As he hugged me tightly, I could feel that I had the love of this little boy. I did not want to let him go, and I felt he also wanted to stay. I knew I would miss him so much. Manna saw my wet eyes that day.
Two times I have been to visit Manna, and both times when it was time to go, I wanted to miss my flight, or think of some other tactic that would get me more time with her. I promised her I will be strong, and I will not let her see my eyes wet, so I turn and walk towards my gate. Before I turn the corner, I look back, and she is watching me as I walk away.
Soon there will come a day, and I'll be back again......I'll be back for you......I'm saving up my love.....

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

She defends ME?

While having dinner in a resturant at the Lam Tin MTR station in Hong Kong, I discovered something about my sweet little lady. We were enjoying a nice meal, laughing and having a good time, as we always do when we are together. I suddenly noticed a fierce look appear on Mannas' normally smiling, sweet face. She stood up from our table with fire in her eyes! I asked her what was wrong. She told me ," I don't like it when someone is not polite with my husband!" She then informed me that some woman was pointing at me and laughing to her husband about my scarred face, which happened in a motorcycle accident several years ago. I had actually become quite accustomed to the rudeness of others over the years, but she was mad enough that I thought we were about to be involved in a fight. When I looked behind me, the offending couple was a hurry! My Manna is only 5 feet and 2 inches tall. Very small, but not afraid to stand up for what she thinks is right. Apparently this couple could see that they were about to meet a very strong force, and they were sure they didn't want to scrap with her! I was very proud of my Manna for defending me. She proved something to me on that day. She didn't need to do it, but the fact that she did this proves to me that her love is so strong!
Thank you, Baby......I love you, too!

Saturday, March 12, 2005

A Hong Kong Story......

During my last visit to my fiancee in Hong Kong, for the first 4 days , she had to work. She is a popular hairstylist, and was very busy before the Lunar New Year.For the first 3 days, I hung around her salon, and spent some time at the Starbucks across the street, while I waited for her to finish her work.On the 4th day, her 5 yr old son returned from the grandparents.He is a very smart and cute little guy, but is the same as any 5 yr old. This made it impossible for him to hang around her salon while she worked.
I volunteered to keep him for her, and took this opportunity to bond with him. We played video games and a battling top game,(which if you know anything about 5 yr old boys, you know you must let them win! Ho Ming wins AGAIN!) and watched some cartoons on TV.This consumed about 4 hours of the day......only 8 more hours to entertain him until Manna returns! So...... We take a taxi to the Lam Tin MTR station.
This large place is also a big shopping center with many little shops inside. It was a very crowded place, so I held firmly to his hand. I didn't want to have to tell his mom that I lost him, so I was very careful!
We looked around awhile, and found a place for kids to play many games, and have some fun , so we spent some time in there, and he played EVERYTHING. He had a very good time, and we worked up a appetite. I am , a Western man in Hong Kong. I can only speak English. This creates some difficulty when trying to order food in a resturant, especially when I don't even recognize anything on a menu.
As we walked around, i spied a McDonalds! HA! I know what is on the menu at these places! This was a perfect solution! EVERY kid likes McDonalds!
As we entered the place, Ho Ming noticed a video game display set up in the lobby of the McDonalds. It was 4 sided, so 4 could play a different game at the same time.At the sight of this, he completely lost his appetite. He wanted to play, of course!
As we waited in line....( LONG line!) my hunger became immense! But I was patient. I waited with him, and FINALLY it was his turn to play.Because he was not so familiar with the game, he soon lost, and began playing another game. Some of the children waiting were not pleased about this, but they were very polite, and did not complain....much.After losing the second time, I took his hand and led him to the counter so we could order some food. He was not at all happy about that! He wanted to get back in line and wait for another chance to play the video game again.
His English is not good enough for me to explain that first we will eat, and then we will wait for another chance to play.Maybe it wouldn't have mattered if we could communicate. He is , after all, a 5 yr old boy! I am , a Western man, in Hong Kong. I have a crying Chinese boy held tightly in my right hand, and a tray of McDonalds food in my left.He is crying loudly , and complaining in Cantonese. Everyone around can understand perfectly what he says. I am beginning to think I will be in Jail in Hong Kong for kidnapping!
As I pull him to a table, ( it was not easy to find an empty one)I am thinking if I can get him to begin eating, he will calm down. I was wrong. He did not want to do something to cooperate with me. He would not.
He was crying loudly, and people were disturbed. I didn't know what to do. I am not often at a loss for a solution, but he had me by the balls!
Then I remembered I had Mannas cell phone in my pocket. I didn't want to disturb her while she was so busy, but I had no choice. I phoned her salon, and she told me to put Ho Ming on the phone with her. Ha! He knew if he took the phone, she would set him straight, so he would not take it! I then told Manna I was sorry for bothering her, and let her get back to her customer.
I placed his food in front of him, and opened some ketchup packets for his french fries. I soon saw that he was not going to eat, so after I finished my Big Mac. I began packing up his lunch. I planned to bring it home, and let him eat it later.
It was at this point he decided he would eat it, so I unpacked it all again and placed it in front of him. He was very upset to see that there was some ketchup on his french fries. Lucky for me that I did not eat MY fries, so there were plenty without ketchup for him to eat.Whew!
He began to eat , and some of the bad humor began to leave him. As he ate I talked in soothing tones to him so I could let him know I was not angry with him.
After he finished eating, he looked at me in the eye and said in perfect English," I'm sorry Daddy"!
It was a short time later when Manna phoned to me, and I was very happy to tell her that all was well, now. She talked to him a short while on the phone, and we left the McDonalds.We took a taxi back to Mannas home, and we spent the afternoon playing together.We were buddies. It was great!
This little 5 yr old boy tested me that day. He saw me as some competition for his mothers' attention, and I am sure he was wondering what I would do about this kind of situation.
I think I passed a very important test that day. Perhaps the most important one ever. He and I are good friends, now.Now he knows I care about him. He has accepted me, so far. I know there is nothing one can do TO a little kid that they will ever forget. They will soon forget the things you do FOR them......This is the way it is.

Saturday, March 05, 2005

No Trust, no Love?

Someone very special to me said these words to me, and it made me think very hard about them.
I see that it is better to have trust and love together in a relationship. I also can see that I have loved people in my past ,but I did not really have a great deal of trust in them.
For example, when my daughter was a teen ,and she wanted to do something that she knew I would not approve of, she would sometimes lie to me about where she was going, what she was doing, or who she was with.. Even though I knew she was lying to me, and it was clear that she could not be trusted always, I never stopped loving her, and my love was never less. After some time she regained my trust by proving to me that she could be trusted. And I never stopped loving her. Perhaps my love made her wish to regain my trust. Trust is not something that is freely given away, but must be earned. We must work to gain someones' trust, and then we must keep working to keep it.Sometimes it is hard work. If we do something that CAUSES someone not to trust us, it is our own responsibility to re- claim this trust. To have the trust of someone is a very good thing. If we are trusted , we can build something very good on this foundation. Sometimes, when we love someone very much, it is easy for us to give someone the chance to build back a broken trust. And, if the love is very strong , trust is not very difficult to re-build.
These are my thoughts on this subject. Anyone care to comment?